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spudfan

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spudfan last won the day on November 23 2018

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  1. Two lads are sitting in the canteen having their lunch. Two women are sitting near them having their lunch. Suddenly one of the women starts to choke on a piece of food. Her friend is doing her best to dislodge it but without success. One of the lads jumps up and runs over to lend assistance. He gets behind the women in distress yanks down her jeans and underwear the he licks one of the cheeks of her rear end. Suddenly she coughs and up comes the piece of food and she spits it out. Her friend then proceeds to help her to get dressed. Our hero returns to his table and says to his friend. "I always knew that Hind Lick Manouver would come in handy some day".
  2. An insider's view of producing model railroad stuff in China. It makes for interesting reading. https://railroad.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=32&t=169650
  3. The person on the bike probably stuck a claim in for damage to the bike....also if a train hits one of these idiots it is the poor train driver that has to live with it. That's after he /she gets investigated by the Gardai, the HSA and IE.
  4. The Spudfan household has come down with a vomiting/diarrhoea bug. We are in various stages of recovery. My wife is well on the road to recovery, I'm not far behind but our daughter, who has special needs, is not so lucky. Probably due to her immune system being a little different to ours. Anyway I noticed that our daughter, who is 23, had placed her doll, which she has had from a very young age, on the pillow beside my wife. The reason being that she did not wish to pass on her bug to her doll. When she has recovered she will take her back. Like I said you just can't be too careful.
  5. Then there was the dyslexic Satanist who sold his soul to Santa. And something completely different......... A new recruit to the French Foreign Legion was been shown around the encampment by an officer. At the back of the tents they came across a solitary camel sitting down. "What's the camel for?" asks the new recruit. "Well" says the officer "there are over 200 men here with "urges and needs". When they need some relief they take it in turns to use the camel". A couple of days later the officer is doing the rounds and he sees the new recruit, trousers down around his ankles having his evil way with the camel. "What are you doing?" he roars. The new recruit looks up and says "You said that when the men have "urges and needs" they use the camel. Well I have some "urges and needs" today so I'm using the camel" The officer replies "When the men have "urges and needs" they ride the camel to the nearest town...…" A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."
  6. Fair enough, I've seen the light and will now switch to another topic.... I've been reading a book on gravity - I can't put it down
  7. "Shocked" that you see it that way.....
  8. An electrician arrived home at 3 AM. His wife asks: "Why are you insulate?" He replied: "Watt's it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?. ........................................................ After a tiff, the radio technician was going to separate from his gorgeous model girlfriend but was seen later with her hand-in-hand down at the beach. When asked if they'd sorted out their differences, he said "I just didn't have the capacity to resistor". ........................................................................ A man goes into a builder’s yard and orders 20,000 bricks. "May I ask what you're building?", asks the man behind the counter. "Yes, it's going to be a barbecue." “That’s a lot of bricks for one bar-b-que." he says. The man says, "not really - I live on the 18th floor."
  9. When I looked at that I thought it was NIR selling off the real thing!
  10. https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/news/europe/single-view/view/dublin-seeks-battery-electric-dart-fleet.html
  11. Thought I was looking at the Aurora Borealis last night. Unfortunately it turned out to be indicator light on a car in Reyjkavik....it was indicating to turn left.
  12. Like this? https://www.railforums.co.uk/threads/gbrf-confirms-conversion-of-class-56s-to-class-69s.180582/
  13. This float won first prize in our local Easter parade yesterday....complete with balaclavas. Had a quick look at the local bank as we walked by, just to make sure this was not the real thing!!!!
  14. https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/traction-rolling-stock/single-view/view/firm-orders-for-hybrid-powerpacks.html
  15. Why would anyone bad mouth Paddy? Things may take longer to come to fruition than we would like but when the product lands it is always worth the wait. My only gripe is that the wife only has two kidneys that I can put on Ebay. I could put the whole lot of her up but people ALWAYS want photos and well, err, there's the rub. I could learn how to do Photoshop but then buyers are fussy when the item does not look remotely like the description photos. So Paddy if you are reading this, if you think you have problems dealing with your supplier in China... Anyway how do we go about getting Leo to have a referendum for a "St Paddy Murphy day"?
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