Joke for today...

[heirflick]

"Give it to me! Give it to me -  for Christs sake!, I'm so wet, give it to me now!" said the young girl.  Her boyfriend gently replied ...'You can scream all you want, you're not getting my umbrella!!'

[Broithe]

It's been raining heavily all day here, and my wife been staring continuously through the window. I'm getting a bit concerned that she might be a little depressed. In fact, if it goes on much longer, I think I'm going to let her in.

Edited November 6, 2017 by Broithe
Doh..!!

[heirflick]

2 minutes ago, Broithe said:

It's been raining heavily all day here, and my my wife been staring continuously through the window. I'm getting a bit concerned that she might be a little depressed. In fact, if it goes on much longer, I think I'm going to let her in.

Jaysus you're a hard man Bro!

[Broithe]

8 minutes ago, heirflick said:

Jaysus you're a hard man Bro!

Don't give 'em any leeway - I've seen what happened to you!

[heirflick]

1 hour ago, Broithe said:

Don't give 'em any leeway - I've seen what happened to you!

....and I thought I was happy.....

 

[Broithe]

11 minutes ago, heirflick said:

....and I thought I was happy.....

 

And who has given you permission to be happy..?

[heirflick]

8 minutes ago, Broithe said:

And who has given you permission to be happy..?

After years or torment, frustration, unhappyness, tears, fighting, bad tempers and hair loss (and that was just because I had to get up in the morning!!)I think I'm entitled - and you cant handle the truth!!!

 

[WRENNEIRE]

A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.

Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.

Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.

Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.

I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.

Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…

What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the trains…

I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.

I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.

Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.

A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road”.

I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.

A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.

 

And of course… How would you work out how heavy a whale is?  You would take it to a whale weigh station….

Sorry, I'll get me coat..........

 

[heirflick]

Hurry Dave - these lads have no sense of humour!

[WRENNEIRE]

[heirflick]

Sure we're always wrong Dave - trick is not to talk out loud!

[WRENNEIRE]

Since I put up the pic there have been only 50 views whereas the Lima/MM thread has over 400

So I am right, no sense of humour hereabouts, with the exception of the few regulars

[heirflick]

18 hours ago, WRENNEIRE said:

Since I put up the pic there have been only 50 views whereas the Lima/MM thread has over 400

So I am right, no sense of humour hereabouts, with the exception of the few regulars

....sad Dave- but the chosen few will still make the best of it!