Well she did ask

[spudfan]

I was rummaging around looking for the Pecolube.

"What are you looking for?" asked the wife.

"Some lubricant" I answered

Wish I had a photograph of the expression on her face....

[Glenderg]

@Broithe you have been summoned!!!

[Garfield]

23 minutes ago, Glenderg said:

@Broithe you have been summoned!!!

He's on his way...

 

[Broithe]

I'm not getting involved!

This could be the start of a slippery slope.

[heirflick]

8 hours ago, Broithe said:

I'm not getting involved!

This could be the start of a slippery slope.

...Cant quite get to grips with this stuff at all

[Elektrolytic]

Hi, 

I would like to share three very important quotes with you that i try to share with as many people as i can. Jesus said: "If you do not repent (turn away from sin) you will all likewise perish (eternal fire)." "No one comes to the Father but by me." “Those who believe and are baptized will be saved, but those who do not believe will be damned.” 

God takes sin very seriously. Sin is lying, stealing, getting drunk or high, sex out of marriage, adultery, having other gods, praying to anyone else but God, pedophilia, homosexuality, witchcraft, hate, murder, suicide, to name a few. God warns that one sin will one day take us to hell in the same way that one crime can take us to jail, however it is not Gods will that we go to hell. God became a human being in Jesus to substitute us. He took the blame for us. He took our punishment. The Bible says that He went to hell and then came back and arose from the dead. Our fine has been paid, but forgiveness is not automatic. According to God we must do these three things to receive forgiveness. 

1. Turn away from sin and tell God that we turn away from everything that is a sin. 2. Turn to follow Jesus, and also verbally express that to him. 3. Get baptized, baptism means to be submersed. We are to be submersed under water. When we have done these three things, we will be forgiven. God doesn't want to have religion with us, he wants to have a Father-son/Father-daughter relationship with us and it begins after we turn away from sin, turn to follow Jesus, and get baptized. We can pray in privacy something like this "God I'm sorry for all the sins that I have committed, I turn away from everything that is a sin, and I turn to follow Jesus, please forgive me." Then go get baptized under water. If you haven't yet reconciled with God, please do it today, you may not have tomorrow. Thank you for taking the time to read this. God and I care about where you will spend eternity.

For proof of God please watch these videos:

https://youtu.be/E62EgXvqfrc

https://youtu.be/Uv14kHBmESQ

https://youtu.be/G7U8Wt8nfBA

https://youtu.be/M3kyDfr9z_8