spudfan

The person on the bike probably stuck a claim in for damage to the bike....also if a train hits one of these idiots it is the poor train driver that has to live with it. That's after he /she gets investigated by the Gardai, the HSA and IE.

The Spudfan household has come down with a vomiting/diarrhoea bug. We are in various stages of recovery. My wife is well on the road to recovery, I'm not far behind but our daughter, who has special needs, is not so lucky. Probably due to her immune system being a little different to ours. Anyway I noticed that our daughter, who is 23, had placed her doll, which she has had from a very young age, on the pillow beside my wife. The reason being that she did not wish to pass on her bug to her doll. When she has recovered she will take her back. Like I said you just can't be too careful.

Then there was the dyslexic Satanist who sold his soul to Santa. And something completely different......... A new recruit to the French Foreign Legion was been shown around the encampment by an officer. At the back of the tents they came across a solitary camel sitting down. "What's the camel for?" asks the new recruit. "Well" says the officer "there are over 200 men here with "urges and needs". When they need some relief they take it in turns to use the camel". A couple of days later the officer is doing the rounds and he sees the new recruit, trousers down around his ankles having his evil way with the camel. "What are you doing?" he roars. The new recruit looks up and says "You said that when the men have "urges and needs" they use the camel. Well I have some "urges and needs" today so I'm using the camel" The officer replies "When the men have "urges and needs" they ride the camel to the nearest town...…" A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

Fair enough, I've seen the light and will now switch to another topic.... I've been reading a book on gravity - I can't put it down

"Shocked" that you see it that way.....

An electrician arrived home at 3 AM. His wife asks: "Why are you insulate?" He replied: "Watt's it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?. ........................................................ After a tiff, the radio technician was going to separate from his gorgeous model girlfriend but was seen later with her hand-in-hand down at the beach. When asked if they'd sorted out their differences, he said "I just didn't have the capacity to resistor". ........................................................................ A man goes into a builder’s yard and orders 20,000 bricks. "May I ask what you're building?", asks the man behind the counter. "Yes, it's going to be a barbecue." “That’s a lot of bricks for one bar-b-que." he says. The man says, "not really - I live on the 18th floor."

When I looked at that I thought it was NIR selling off the real thing!

https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/news/europe/single-view/view/dublin-seeks-battery-electric-dart-fleet.html

Thought I was looking at the Aurora Borealis last night. Unfortunately it turned out to be indicator light on a car in Reyjkavik....it was indicating to turn left.

Like this? https://www.railforums.co.uk/threads/gbrf-confirms-conversion-of-class-56s-to-class-69s.180582/

This float won first prize in our local Easter parade yesterday....complete with balaclavas. Had a quick look at the local bank as we walked by, just to make sure this was not the real thing!!!!

https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/traction-rolling-stock/single-view/view/firm-orders-for-hybrid-powerpacks.html

Why would anyone bad mouth Paddy? Things may take longer to come to fruition than we would like but when the product lands it is always worth the wait. My only gripe is that the wife only has two kidneys that I can put on Ebay. I could put the whole lot of her up but people ALWAYS want photos and well, err, there's the rub. I could learn how to do Photoshop but then buyers are fussy when the item does not look remotely like the description photos. So Paddy if you are reading this, if you think you have problems dealing with your supplier in China... Anyway how do we go about getting Leo to have a referendum for a "St Paddy Murphy day"?

I will look favourably on your bid. (No returns accepted)

Wrenneire wrote "All things going well they will then go into full production and should be with us September/Early October" Should be enough time to get the wife into shape before she goes on EBAY. Sellers on EBAY always seem to exaggerate the condition of their items also some have a no returns policy. What can go wrong....?

Yep I heard about that. Seems there's some track booked in Inchicore where two IRM "A" class locos are to haul the real thing for a hundred yards.

Westport?

Summer delivery....gives me time to organise a church gate collection or two

https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/news/europe/single-view/view/ie-to-install-hybrid-train-protection.html

By rights this should be in a "Jokes" thread but as it is a true story it ended up here. A couple of local lads headed off to a music festival in a car and by all accounts they thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Festival over, somewhat the worse for wear, they headed back to the field where they had parked the car and there it was…...gone. Yep the car was nowhere to be seen. So you can imagine the state of the two well hung over festival goers as they trudged back out to the road. Luckily they came across a member of the boys in blue who was out directing the festival traffic. They unloaded their tale of woe on the officer who was most sympathetic and surprisingly helpful. He pointed out that owing to the festival traffic it was unlikely that the stolen car would have been driven very far. He got the details, got on the radio and alerted all the patrols in the area. The two lads gave personal details and trudged on to the nearest town. A couple of hundred yards down the road they spotted the car parked in a field. Yep you guessed it. Being somewhat below par after a weekend of festival festivities they had gone to the wrong field to collect the car. Over joyed the two lads collected the car and headed out on to the road to join the festival traffic. Half mile down the road they were pulled over by the lads in blue who recognised the car as the one reported stolen a short time earlier. Definitely a festival to remember

A spokesperson for us men..

Never had this problem with the female sex i.e. which one to choose

I suppose that six or even seven fingers could be of benefit servicing an "A" class or MM 121 loco. Where's the Golden Pages? Or is it all Google in this age?

Right, with D Day fast approaching some serious thought has to be put into how to fund the purchase of one (or more) of these desirable items. I figure that with every advance order received by the boys in head office, a return e-mail could be sent. Instead of a receipt it would be a "threaten to kidnap note" unless X amount is paid over. This could be sent to the e-mail address used by my nearest and dearest. I am just trying to figure out how many "A" classes the Mrs would think I am worth... Next I need a plan to fund a 121 ...or two...or three... Ideas will be most welcome.

https://www.railwaygazette.com/analysis/single-news/view/irish-implementation-plan-focuses-six-year-rail-spend.html https://www.railwaygazette.com/news/infrastructure/single-view/view/rhomberg-sersa-wins-irish-maintenance-contract.html?sword_list[]=irish&sword_list[]=rail&no_cache=1