I must add my favourite two from the champion that is Malcolm Tucker.
"If some **** can **** something up, that **** will pick the worst possible time to ****ing **** it up cause that ****'s a ****."
If you want to see what the stars represent, see below;
I had an incident of that in work earlier this week. And it's so true!
And, the best analogy (okay, not a quote as such, but infinitely quotable) I have ever heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5iRmPBve80
Bad language is a guarantee.