lads, we model them, take pictures of them, travel in them, curse them...so we might as well have a laugh at them!!!
Priests on a Train
Four irish priests board a train for a long journey to a church council conference. Shortly into the trip, one pries says "Well, we've all worked together for many years, but don't really know one another. I suggest we tell each other one of our sins."
They look nervously at each other but nod OK. The first irish priest says "Since I suggested it, I'll go first. With me it's the drink. Once a year I take off my collar and go out of town to a pub and drink myself blind for a few days. Get it out of my system."
They all look each other again nervously, but the next irish priest slowly starts "Wellll... with me, it's gambling. Periodically, I nick the money out of the poor box and go to the races. Spend it all! I get it out of my system."
The third, who is really nervous now reluctantly says "This is very difficult. My sin is worse. I take off my collar and go into the red light district, pick out a lass, and spend a week in the saddle. I REEEEAAALY get it out of my system."
They all look at the fourth irish priest waiting. He doesn't say anything. Then one of the four speaks up "Come now, we've all told our innermost faults. It's your turn."
He looks at the others and starts hesitantly "Welllllll... I'm an inveterate gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train!":rolleyes:
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Irish Train Slap
An Irish man, an english man, an old woman and a attractive young girl were riding in a train car. When the train went through a tunnel there was a loud SMACK! When the train came out the englishman had a huge red hand print on his face.
The old woman thought, "He must have grabbed that young girl."
The young girl thought, "He must have grabbed that old woman thinking it was me."
The englisman thought, "She must have slapped me thinking I was the Irish man."
The Irish man thought, " I can't wait for another tunnel so I can smack that english man again:rolleyes:
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Passenger Complaint - Funny Train Story
The following is allegedly an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company [Larnrod Eireann]. Kindly sent in by John Morris
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
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Reply from Larnrod Eireann Railways
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann.
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Last word from Mr Finnegan
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick