Not as planned

[spudfan]

Stood up to make my speech at my daughter's wedding. Took out the sheet of paper from my pocket with the speech on it. Looked at it and...it was a list of stuff I wanted the mechanic to check on the car while in for a service. Yep, wrong sheet of paper. I had to wing it.

[Mol_PMB]

8 minutes ago, spudfan said:

Stood up to make my speech at my daughter's wedding. Took out the sheet of paper from my pocket with the speech on it. Looked at it and...it was a list of stuff I wanted the mechanic to check on the car while in for a service. Yep, wrong sheet of paper. I had to wing it.

I bet you did a great job, all the better for being spontaneous.

Hopefully their married life will be steered in the right direction, perfectly balanced, well lubricated and won't go rotten round the sills.

[Horsetan]

20 hours ago, Mol_PMB said:

....perfectly balanced, well lubricated ...

How long ye reckon that single-piston engine will last before being declared shagged-out?

[Horsetan]

20 hours ago, spudfan said:

Stood up to make my speech at my daughter's wedding. Took out the sheet of paper from my pocket with the speech on it. Looked at it and...it was a list of stuff I wanted the mechanic to check on the car while in for a service. Yep, wrong sheet of paper. I had to wing it.

Years ago, our family car was a Mk.1 VW Jetta, the basic "C" model in Mars Red. Quite a reliable thing; we had it for about 6 years. Anyhow, in those days, the family used to do the weekly shop at the nearby shopping centre, which was one of the first of its kind and still exists today in expanded form, even busier than before.

We parked in the multistorey car park, did the shop, and returned to the car. I unlocked the doors and the boot, heaved the bags in, then got in and started the car.....except that the key wouldn't turn in the ignition. Hmmm, it's never done that before, so I kept trying, and still the key wouldn't turn. So, as I sat there, I looked up to see a tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror.....and then it slowly dawned on me that we didn't have one of those.

I got out of that car and removed the shopping from the boot quicker than a feral stealing a smartphone. About three bays away was another red Jetta. Our car. Turns out the one we got into was identical, except for the air freshener and the registration....which was from the same year but which I hadn't noticed. ....and this all serves to show that there's only a finite number of car key patterns. My key was enough to get into someone else's car. Imagine if I'd been able to start it and get it home?

[Broithe]

I lived in digs in the mid-70s. The landlord had a yellow Mk1 Escort - his pride and joy. The landlady really only went in it at the weekend, always shopping on a Saturday morning. They habitually parked on some waste ground, the result of a famous fire in the 60s. One day, they came back and loaded up the car, setting off or home with the week's supplies.

About a mile into the journey, she started to notice that the car was not as pristine as he usually kept it - sweet wrappers in the ashtray, fingerprints on the windows, etc.

"You've let this car get into a bit of a state!"

Suddenly, he could see what she had seen, and that the mileage was a lot higher suddenly.

Realising what had happened they turned round and went back, the space the car had been in had been occupied again in their absence, so they parked as near to their own car as they could and emptied the boot as quickly as possible, keeping an eye out for the real owner. He appeared just after that had cleared the scene, looking mystified that his car was not where he thought he'd parked it and, looking round, he saw it off in the distance.

He got in and started it, driving off past them. as they were still loading up their real car.

He probably never knew, but might have wondered why the car was already warm...

Edited Saturday at 19:27 by Broithe