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County Bounds Bridge.

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  • 5 months later...

Yes. They're starting a tendering process to appoint an expert to choose a consultant to - first of all - draw up a document to define "bridge". After that, all personnel will be sent on a training course in advance of being granted a Certificate of Bridge Recognition.

 

After that, a consultant will be appointed to research whether it is or is not necessary to close the entire rail system for three months either side of the work being done.

 

The work itself is expected to require seven workmen, and involve the removal of over fifteen weeds growing in the stonework. This is expected to take between thirty minutes and an hour.

 

Naturally, all staff, consultants and politicians concerned will first have to attend a Weed Recognition Course, and receive the necessary documentation to prove this; an international Weed Consultancy Firm is to be appointed to oversee this, with a €12.5m budget.

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Yes. They're starting a tendering process to appoint an expert to choose a consultant to - first of all - draw up a document to define "bridge". After that, all personnel will be sent on a training course in advance of being granted a Certificate of Bridge Recognition.

 

After that, a consultant will be appointed to research whether it is or is not necessary to close the entire rail system for three months either side of the work being done.

 

The work itself is expected to require seven workmen, and involve the removal of over fifteen weeds growing in the stonework. This is expected to take between thirty minutes and an hour.

 

Naturally, all staff, consultants and politicians concerned will first have to attend a Weed Recognition Course, and receive the necessary documentation to prove this; an international Weed Consultancy Firm is to be appointed to oversee this, with a €12.5m budget.

=))=))=))=))

I'm glad they have finally decided to simplify the process:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

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Amazing how this doesn't (can't) happen in the private sector. The (mis)use of consultants drops like a stone when you go from public to private.

 

 

 

I would disagree the one of the main reasons I left the private and joined the public sector was out of frustration with consultants.

 

I have come across some horror stories where private sector clients have been sold complete pups in terms of management, environmental, heath and safety and design consultancy.

 

One of the favourites is to charge a client for information that is already in the public domain and freely available.

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I would disagree the one of the main reasons I left the private and joined the public sector was out of frustration with consultants.

 

I have come across some horror stories where private sector clients have been sold complete pups in terms of management, environmental, heath and safety and design consultancy.

 

One of the favourites is to charge a client for information that is already in the public domain and freely available.

 

I also worked in the private sector, and the amount of con-artists around, even twenty years ago, was startling.

 

I am now having flashbacks....

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Yes. They're starting a tendering process to appoint an expert to choose a consultant to - first of all - draw up a document to define "bridge". After that, all personnel will be sent on a training course in advance of being granted a Certificate of Bridge Recognition.

 

After that, a consultant will be appointed to research whether it is or is not necessary to close the entire rail system for three months either side of the work being done.

 

The work itself is expected to require seven workmen, and involve the removal of over fifteen weeds growing in the stonework. This is expected to take between thirty minutes and an hour.

 

Naturally, all staff, consultants and politicians concerned will first have to attend a Weed Recognition Course, and receive the necessary documentation to prove this; an international Weed Consultancy Firm is to be appointed to oversee this, with a €12.5m budget.

 

Most Excellent JHB, that's worth a pint of stout alone :)

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