Possion d'Avril ceased at 11:00am UT but what the heck:
22k's to be reallocated for motorway use from 2017, seats to be improved with softer concrete padding and Fisher Price logos to be replaced by Bus Eireann logos.
800 to be moved to a new museum in ROI and shrunk to 7mm scale
Food to be served once again on main line rail services for first time since 1990s
Luas track bed to be made available for go-kart racing at weekends when the services are on permanent weekend strike
201 class to be re-engined with more powerful 6000hp motors to cope with Ireland's anticipated obesity crisis in the future. Seating on Mk5 sets will be one seat on each side of the isle, and track ballast to be made 10 inches deeper.
2600 class banned by EU H&S watchdog for fear of future 'army deafness' style litigation. Orthopaedic hospital beds in ROI to be reduced by 25% within 5 years of withdrawal.
NIR to re-gauge all track to 4ft 8.5in gauge within 6 months of England, Wales and NI leaving the EU. Independent Scotland to re-gauge to 5ft 3in broad gauge in an effort to stop English trains crossing the EU border into Scotland.
Irish Sea rail tunnel to be abandoned
Dublin Airport to get electric bike cycleway link to city centre with charging points in each constituency on route.
Murphy Models announce model of 2016 class high speed rail train used on Dublin to Mallow route.