skinner75 Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 (edited) I've been in IT support for 25+ years - this gave me a chuckle!: Edited July 18, 2023 by skinner75 2 Quote
Broithe Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 11 minutes ago, skinner75 said: I've been in IT support for 25+ years - this gave me a chuckle!: We had a Commodore Pet. I remember someone spending ages typing attempts at commanding the cassette player to open, being given 'helpful' hints like, try 'eject tape', try 'cassette eject', try 'eject cassette', maybe Americans spell cassette as casset, or with two Ts, etc..? After about ten minutes of failure, someone gave up and lifted the lid for him. He may also have been the person who was told to 'Press any key to start' and then spent ages reading every key before announcing that he couldn't find the 'Any' key. 4 Quote
Noel Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 Customers who folded 8" floppies over and rammed them into 5" floppy drive slots!!! Or the customer who posted 8" data floppy discs back to support for analysis by folding them over so they would fit in a 1/3 A4 envelope and stapled a with complements clip to the folded disc.!!! Strange but true. A mouse once got inside a customers Pertec 6m removable hard disc drive which caused it to head crash, phoned support and asked if they should use the Super Cat utility 'sprcat' to try and read the disc!!! 4 Quote
Broithe Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 We had one of these. Idiot MD bounded into the room and thumped the big grey box by the door "How many megabytes in there, then?" - "Bloody loads, mate, that's a filing cabinet. The computer's over there, with the pretty lights on. Best not to punch it, though". Our Japanese bloke hand-drew a graph to convince 'them' to do something. They wanted 'better evidence', than what they considered to be merely his opinion, so he got the machine to print out the graph, using the same figures. This turned into into a 'computer prediction' and it became totally true. We had a rudimentary speech synthesiser. You could type things in and it would attempt to say them, but many things needed to be spelled in a way that would give you the right sound. We rigged it up to ask you to type your name, then it would just say "Go away, (name)", except it didn't really say 'Go away' quite so politely. A lot of names would fail to be said correctly, Geoff, David, etc, but Barry would work, and our Barry was a real technophobe. So we persuaded him to do it. He was so offended that he refused to go back in the room until it said "Sorry, Barry" whilst he stood in the doorway. 1 Quote
jhb171achill Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 (edited) On 10/11/2022 at 5:09 PM, Broithe said: When the Mark 4s appear, will these ones be cheaper for not having a speaker fitment? Quiet...ER? A Tara Mines train with loose wheels, clanking 071 bits, and carrying marbles, while tumbling down a tin staircase in an echo chamber fitted with Electric Picnic amplifiers, while the driver is roaring his head off into a karaoke machine turned up full, would be quieter than many carriage on some trains..... Try a Howth Dart on a sunny Saturday, or a stag-from-drimnagh and hens-from-rathkeale express to Killarney on a Saturday....... So, "quieter" than WHAT, exactly? Edited July 18, 2023 by jhb171achill Quote
Mayner Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 6 hours ago, Broithe said: We had one of these. Idiot MD bounded into the room and thumped the big grey box by the door "How many megabytes in there, then?" - "Bloody loads, mate, that's a filing cabinet. The computer's over there, with the pretty lights on. Best not to punch it, though". Our Japanese bloke hand-drew a graph to convince 'them' to do something. They wanted 'better evidence', than what they considered to be merely his opinion, so he got the machine to print out the graph, using the same figures. This turned into into a 'computer prediction' and it became totally true. We had a rudimentary speech synthesiser. You could type things in and it would attempt to say them, but many things needed to be spelled in a way that would give you the right sound. We rigged it up to ask you to type your name, then it would just say "Go away, (name)", except it didn't really say 'Go away' quite so politely. A lot of names would fail to be said correctly, Geoff, David, etc, but Barry would work, and our Barry was a real technophobe. So we persuaded him to do it. He was so offended that he refused to go back in the room until it said "Sorry, Barry" whilst he stood in the doorway. My first introduction to IT was during the late 70s when our company 'outsourced" our book-keeping to a business that had a Main-Frame computer as our business expanded. Previously among other duties I maintained the sales and expenses ledgers manually entering and coding invoices and payments in a big Kalamazoo Ledger, my job was now to approve and code the invoices for data entry on a paper form stapled to each invoice. Our provider sent out a "technical advisor' to our office after some unexpected glitches in the first data entry run and our "advisor" literally could not believe my working conditions in a site office on a busy construction project and he never came back again or heard of further problems with the standard of my coding. I usually carried out data entry or invoice coding in the quite and comfort of a show home or a back-office. We later took on a full time book-keeper and I shifted to a purely managerial and technical role and no longer had to code invoices 1 Quote
spudfan Posted July 22, 2023 Author Posted July 22, 2023 Cleaned out the car after the Mrs has been using it. 3 Quote
Branchline121 Posted August 8, 2023 Posted August 8, 2023 And that’s your typical Twitt- err, I mean “X” argument. Quote
spudfan Posted September 10, 2023 Author Posted September 10, 2023 That Pecolube is good stuff but sometimes you just have to get the specialised stuff from your local Ann Summers branch..... 1 Quote
Broithe Posted September 11, 2023 Posted September 11, 2023 12 hours ago, spudfan said: That Pecolube is good stuff but sometimes you just have to get the specialised stuff from your local Ann Summers branch..... You also have to consider the scale 0, 00, S, TT, N or even Z... 2 Quote
Horsetan Posted September 11, 2023 Posted September 11, 2023 6 hours ago, Broithe said: You also have to consider the scale 0, 00, S, TT, N or even Z... T gauge is also available Quote
spudfan Posted November 30, 2023 Author Posted November 30, 2023 I was checking the spare tyre on the car, so I decided to check the wife's spare tyre as well.... 1 Quote
jhb171achill Posted November 30, 2023 Posted November 30, 2023 37 minutes ago, spudfan said: I was checking the spare tyre on the car, so I decided to check the wife's spare tyre as well.... Are ye outta hospital yet? 1 1 Quote
LNERW1 Posted December 14, 2023 Posted December 14, 2023 What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition. 4 1 Quote
LNERW1 Posted February 12 Posted February 12 On 18/7/2023 at 7:12 PM, Broithe said: We had one of these. Idiot MD bounded into the room and thumped the big grey box by the door "How many megabytes in there, then?" - "Bloody loads, mate, that's a filing cabinet. The computer's over there, with the pretty lights on. Best not to punch it, though". Our Japanese bloke hand-drew a graph to convince 'them' to do something. They wanted 'better evidence', than what they considered to be merely his opinion, so he got the machine to print out the graph, using the same figures. This turned into into a 'computer prediction' and it became totally true. We had a rudimentary speech synthesiser. You could type things in and it would attempt to say them, but many things needed to be spelled in a way that would give you the right sound. We rigged it up to ask you to type your name, then it would just say "Go away, (name)", except it didn't really say 'Go away' quite so politely. A lot of names would fail to be said correctly, Geoff, David, etc, but Barry would work, and our Barry was a real technophobe. So we persuaded him to do it. He was so offended that he refused to go back in the room until it said "Sorry, Barry" whilst he stood in the doorway. SORRY BARRY 4 Quote
Ironroad Posted February 12 Posted February 12 Talking of speech synthesisers, reminds me of the one that was used on the underground trains at Atlanta Airport, announcing the terminals. And since it sounded like HAL that's what locals called it. We miss HAL the trip is not the same anymore. 4 Quote
Broithe Posted February 12 Posted February 12 (edited) 36 minutes ago, Ironroad said: Talking of speech synthesisers, reminds me of the one that was used on the underground trains at Atlanta Airport, announcing the terminals. And since it sounded like HAL that's what locals called it. We miss HAL the trip is not the same anymore. I once spent a productive 15 minutes with a new 'train manager' on a Heuston/Cork train. Being of a southern African origin, such places as Thurles and Cloughjordan were not phonetically obvious to him from the paperwork, as he read out the pre-stop announcements. Trying to locate a place near Lough Derg yesterday, the sat-nav woman from the driver's phone kept referring to Nenagh like a toddler impersonating a cop car - Neeee-Naaah. Edited February 12 by Broithe 1 2 Quote
LNERW1 Posted June 11 Posted June 11 On 14/5/2024 at 10:13 AM, Horsetan said: Normal for Dublin Don’t forget the “adult content creator” who not only flashed the portal causing the final impetus for it to be shut down, but then made a TikTok saying she believed the people of Ireland “deserved to see her lovely potatoes”. On the NYC side. So it wasn’t just us, but I have to admit the 8-year-old giving New York the middle finger was a legend. Quote
Horsetan Posted June 14 Posted June 14 On 11/6/2024 at 1:01 PM, LNERW1 said: Don’t forget the “adult content creator” who not only flashed the portal causing the final impetus for it to be shut down, but then made a TikTok saying she believed the people of Ireland “deserved to see her lovely potatoes”. On the NYC side. ... Did yer wan have Irish ancestry? Quote
LNERW1 Posted June 14 Posted June 14 No clue. Probably just glad of some Transatlantic promotion… Quote
LNERW1 Posted June 14 Posted June 14 (edited) On 25/6/2022 at 3:16 PM, Broithe said: Even in G Scale, you'll struggle to fit a sound chip and a smoke unit. We’ll see… Edited June 14 by LNERW1 1 Quote
Broithe Posted June 20 Posted June 20 I found this t-shirt available from Waterford Whispers. https://waterfordwhispers.shop/collections/t-shirts/products/dart-vader-premium-wwn-t-shirt 4 Quote
Broithe Posted July 17 Posted July 17 Whenever @David Holman mentions Chatham, I am reminded of a marvellous little sketch from Round the Horne. It was a radio show and the joke only really works in audio, but it's worth running it by. The basis is the similarity of the words peace and piece. Charles and Fiona are two fading film stars, usually engaged in very earnest black-and-white war films, with rather upper-class, clipped English accents. In this case, Charles is playing a somewhat traumatised naval officer. Charles! You've returned at last. Yes, Fiona, I just had to go away and find a little peace. A little peace, Charles? Yes, Fiona, a little peace. And did you find a little peace, Charles. Yes, Fiona, I did. She's a barmaid in Chatham. Well, it amuses me... 1 1 Quote
Horsetan Posted July 19 Posted July 19 On 17/7/2024 at 10:59 PM, Broithe said: Whenever @David Holman mentions Chatham, I am reminded of a marvellous little sketch from Round the Horne. It was a radio show and the joke only really works in audio, but it's worth running it by. The basis is the similarity of the words peace and piece.... As it happens, Mel Brooks ran with the same joke over 40 years ago: Quote
spudfan Posted September 2 Author Posted September 2 A bloke bought a packet of luminous condoms. That night his neighbour turned to his wife and said "That bloke next door keeps opening and closing the fridge door." Quote
Broithe Posted September 2 Posted September 2 2 hours ago, spudfan said: "...opening and closing the fridge door." Many years ago, a group of us ending up playing a game of charades. It went along as these things usually do, until one chap started to do one and nobody had the slightest idea what was going on. It's a film - five words - first word - sounds like... He then repeatedly flung his arm to one side and brought his hand in front of his face, as a fist, then flicking the fingers and thumb out into a star shape, as fast as he could. Nobody had the slightest idea what this was supposed to mean, but he could think of no other mime that he could do for any of the words, so he just continued, repeating this demonstration with increasing theatricality. Eventually, we had to give in, largely due to people laughing themselves to incapacity, and ask him to reveal the film title. Bridge on the River Kwai. Apparently, the mime was a fridge door opening and the light coming on... I still laugh about this forty years on. Quote
gibbo675 Posted September 2 Posted September 2 To follow on with the condom theme, Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms ? A: Recycle them in to a tyre and call it a Goodyear ! Quote
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