To lighten the mood.

[WRENNEIRE]

[Broithe]

Even in G Scale, you'll struggle to fit a sound chip and a smoke unit.
 

 

[WRENNEIRE]

[Sean]

On 25/6/2022 at 3:16 PM, Broithe said:

Even in G Scale, you'll struggle to fit a sound chip and a smoke unit.
 

 

Vespa PK. who needs a model anyway??

Maybe theyll let me bring her down the Velorail. XD

 

Another less fortunate one. Vespa LX this time. Outlived by the 20 and 40 year old examples above. as Piaggio build quality dropped DRAMATICALLY after the successful et2 and 4 line.

Edited June 26, 2022 by Sean

[Broithe]

I found myself using this beermat last night.

It performed its task adequately, but I was disappointed to see that it had a black chassis.

 

[Westcorkrailway]

It’s blue with a YELLOW line. 

[Broithe]

2 minutes ago, Westcorkrailway said:

It’s blue with a YELLOW line. 

The yellow should, obviously, also be a bit paler.

I'll leave it on a windowsill, until it's more of a straw colour.

[Broithe]

Ha, this reminded me of something that confused me for a while.

15 minutes ago, Mike Beckett said:

I saw a pair of Hunslets on the Derry fertilisers pass my school at least once back in my youth. Probably should have paid more attention to maths and less to the railway line.

The dreaded reports were issued, and one teacher very surprisingly described me as 'very interested and engaged' with his subject.

For several weeks in the summer holidays, this intrigued me, as I very much doubt that I was - then I realised what he thought he was seeing.

I went to ten schools and this was one where you moved room for every subject through the day - you were required to queue up outside the room and be let in.

I always made a strong effort to be at or very near the front of the queue, and this was presumably what his assessment seems to have been based on, there was no other reason that I could see.

I was at the front of the queue because I was keen to get a window seat.

[Irishswissernie]

Not only are chocolate bars, biscuits  and food generally are shooting up in price, manufacturers are shrinking the size of items to save money.

Even I noticed the difference in the size of my muffins (not a euphemism , er but now I think on!) this morning when I lost one but it was under my knife.

[Broithe]

When the Mark 4s appear, will these ones be cheaper for not having a speaker fitment?

 

Edited November 10, 2022 by Broithe

[Broithe]

 

7 minutes ago, David Holman said:

A pox on spell checkers and predictive text!

 

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It's rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
It's letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

[David Holman]

Splendid!

I think they are getting worse, year on year. Rule number one though, must still be never proof read your own work. Once wrote a job application where I outlined my experience of working with children who had leaning difficulties!

 Occasionally such things have the capacity to amuse - in the early days of word processing, my surname always got changed to "hooligan", which I rather liked, while head teacher was always changed to "heartache".

[Broithe]

I used to do the odd job for a chap who was deaf and blind, but I learnt to 'speak' to him via this "manual texting" system.

 

The letters were tapped out on his hand and, knowing that I could hear, he would guess where it was going, almost always correctly - the only viable predictive text that I ever encountered. This could be accepted or rejected - one palm-tap for yes or two for no.

I knew someone else that could do it and it was possible to 'text' her across a crowded pub, expressing a strong opinion about someone actually in the room, without them having any idea what was being 'said'.

Edited November 25, 2022 by Broithe
Spelling, inevitably...

[Lambeg man]

On 25/11/2022 at 5:43 PM, Broithe said:

I used to do the odd job for a chap who was deaf and blind, but I learnt to 'speak' to him via this "manual texting" system.

Where did this system originate from, British? Irish? Elsewhere? Has it a name?

[Broithe]

4 minutes ago, Lambeg man said:

Where did this system originate from, British? Irish? Elsewhere? Has it a name?

It's this.

It's not as 'chaotic' as it first seems, the vowels run across the fingertips in order, for example.

And some letters are 'shape-related'.

It's been around for a long time, it would be twenty years ago that I was doing it.

Practice makes (almost) perfect...

[jhb171achill]

When I go to certain late evening premises and look at certain members of staff and raise one finger, they bring me a pint of Guinness and ask me for money................

[Broithe]

Just now, jhb171achill said:

When I go to certain late evening premises and look at certain members of staff and raise one finger, they bring me a pint of Guinness and ask me for money................

I've tried raising one finger after they ask me for the money.

That doesn't work.

Neither does raising two fingers...

[Horsetan]

A NSFW expression of gratitude from a pensioner:

An oul favourite

[jhb171achill]

2 hours ago, Horsetan said:

A NSFW expression of gratitude from a pensioner:

An oul favourite

Is NSFW an American or Australian railway company........?

[Broithe]

Talk elsewhere about supplying military bases by rail, has reminded me of an event in the 80s.

The Stafford-Uttoxeter line was closed to 'public' traffic in the 50s, but a spur remained, connecting RAF Stafford to the main line, just north of Stafford station - this ran on into the mid-70s, and the station had a fairly extensive internal rail system. RAF Stafford was built in the 30s, just in time for the main event and was a supply site - amusingly, for an RAF Station, it had no runways, any air transport in or out was by helicopters only.

This led to an amusing event at an air display there in the late 80s.

Various aircraft performed their activities much as would be expected, except for one...

A USAF KC-135 tanker was due to whizz by over the crowd a few times, but he didn't seem to be arriving on cue, then people realised that he could be seen, four or five miles away, beyond the top of the hill, performing his display, at the end of which he trundled off southwards, back to Fairford.

It was clear what had happened, although there were very strenuous official denials of this. He had drifted up from Fairford, to where this Stafford place should be, but had then been misled by spotting the runways of ex-RAF Hixon, clearly visible below and in 'nearly the right place', this, plus the full car parks of the adjacent industrial estate had convinced him that this was the intended venue.

I presume he got home alright...

[Broithe]

 

[Lambeg man]

A recent event prompted me to remember this old one...

On a Friday Frank flew at some expense from Dublin to Rome to conduct a pilgrimage to see the Pope in the Vatican City. Getting out of his taxi near the gates to the Vatican City, he approached the said gates and found them firmly shut. Standing in front of the gates was a member of the Swiss Guard.

Frank: "What is going on? Why are the gates closed?"

Swiss Guardsman: "The Vatican City is closed to all."

Frank: "What do you mean? I've come all the way from Ireland to visit the Holy City, perhaps even see His Holiness."

Swiss Guardsman: "I've just told you, the City is closed to all."

Frank: "This is so unfair. This trip has cost me a fortune. There must be some reason?"

Swiss Guardsman: "Alright. The truth of the matter is that the Pope is dead, but for political reasons they are keeping it quiet until Monday. But don't you tell anyone that I told you so."

Frank: "Fair do's."

Frank then orders a taxi to take him back to Rome airport where he boards the next flight to Dublin. The following morning he goes into his local bookmakers.

Frank: "What's the odds on the Pope dying before the weekend is out?"

Bookie "About a thousand to one."

Frank: "I'll have a hundred quid on it."

Having placed his bet Frank adjourned to his local tavern where he met his friend Sean.

Sean: "Jesus Frank, I thought you were on your pilgrimage to Rome."

Frank: "Never mind all that. Get yourself down to the bookies and put a hundred quid on the Pope dying before the weekend is out."

Monday morning arrives and the Roman Catholic world goes into mourning following the announcement that the Pope has died. Frank goes to the bookies and picks up his £100, 000 winnings. Walking he home he meets Sean, who has a very long and sad face.

Frank: "Hi Sean, what's up?"

Sean: "I heard the news that the Pope has died."

Frank: "Yes, and? Ah bugger, you didn't put the bet on, did you?"

Sean: "Oh yeah, that. Yes I put the bet on like you said."

Frank: "Well cheer up and go and get your winnings."

Sean: "I'm afraid there's nothing to collect. I did him in a double with the Arch Bishop of Canterbury."   

 

[spudfan]

The wife said she is going to buy  me a Geiger counter. She says I am spending a lot of time in the attic shifting nuclear waste so she wants to be sure I have not picked up a lethal dose of radiation. Last night she turned the light off to see if I was glowing in the dark. See, I picked up a brand new Vitrains DRS class 37 recently and it's been earning it's keep on nuclear waste and such stuff....

[Broithe]

[jhb171achill]

On 17/2/2023 at 4:26 PM, spudfan said:

The wife said she is going to buy me a Geiger counter.

How many geigers can it count up to?

[GSR 800]

38 minutes ago, Broithe said:

Are they adding cocaine buns to the menu? That'd certainly make the train rides interesting

16 minutes ago, jhb171achill said:

How many geigers can it count up to?

 

[Broithe]

Is your Domestic Supervisor one of those that like Essential Oils?

An ideal present to ingratiate yourself and create the right atmosphere.

https://www.freshskin.co.uk/product/steam-train-fragrance-oil/

[jhb171achill]

2 hours ago, Broithe said:

Is your Domestic Supervisor one of those that like Essential Oils?

An ideal present to ingratiate yourself and create the right atmosphere.

https://www.freshskin.co.uk/product/steam-train-fragrance-oil/

I think that if I presented this to the Chief Executive of the Dept. of Domestic Policy, Implementation and Expenditure, I would end up partly-dismembered on the scrap line in Inchicore, along with those oul 201s.........

[Broithe]

6 hours ago, jhb171achill said:

I think that if I presented this to the Chief Executive of the Dept. of Domestic Policy, Implementation and Expenditure, I would end up partly-dismembered on the scrap line in Inchicore, along with those oul 201s.........

We are prepared for you to take that risk, for the common good.

[WRENNEIRE]

Photos?

 

[Broithe]

1 hour ago, WRENNEIRE said:

Photos?

 

There might be x-rays in a bit.

[Horsetan]

11 hours ago, Broithe said:

We are prepared for you to take that risk, for the common good.

The greater good.

[spudfan]

The Mrs had hung some washing on the clothes line, including some of her underwear. All I said was "Who owns the parachute?" 

[Broithe]

In the pub last night, amusing discussions about a lot of people.

All were overshadowed by talk of a chap who worked in the most gruesome part of the meat factory, but became steadily inured to the carnage all around him.

"You would see him having his tea and sandwiches, sitting on a warm carcass. He didn't smell much, but his arms were always green."

[Horsetan]

On 10/5/2023 at 10:05 AM, Broithe said:

In the pub last night, amusing discussions about a lot of people....

I wonder if that RTÉ money is still resting in Ryan Tubridy's account?